I spoke to a group of event planners last week on the subject of emotional intelligence in today’s workplace. The group was keenly interested in the subject—more than I thought they would be–and it got me thinking. Event planners are service providers within organizations—they are not directly tied to revenue in most cases. They are a cost center, not a profit center. The attendees wanted to know how they could use the skills of EI to improve in their jobs and increase their chances of corporate survival, given the chopping-block environment in which they are living.
So, how can middle managers who cost their companies money use Emotional Intelligence skills to improve their standing in the workplace?
I’ve given this some thought in the context of the seven skills of EI as defined by Genos Americas (from which I am certified as an EI coach). To keep the discussion manageable, I am going to break this down into a series and take one EI skill per post.
First, let’s look at Emotional Self Awareness. This is the skill of perceiving and understanding one’s own emotions. People high is this skill typically are in tune with their moods and feelings, demonstrate greater awareness of how their emotions may influence their thoughts and decisions, and demonstrate awareness of how their emotions may be influencing their behavior and performance at work.
If you are a middle manager/cost-center worker reading this, and you work in a troubled industry (banking, book or magazine publishing, automotive, advertising, retail), think for a moment about whether you feel anxious about your future. Are you able to focus on your tasks, or do you find yourself distracted by the company’s problems occurring at levels that you do not influence or control? Do you have a realistic sense of how your company is doing and whether your job may be in jeopardy, or do you find yourself projecting a gloom that’s greater than reality?
If upon reflection you find yourself anxious and perhaps over-reacting to what’s happening with your company, I have a few suggestions on how to feel better quickly by working on improving your Emotional Self-Awareness skill:
1. Take it Outside. Find someone outside of work with whom you can discuss your work situation. Why should you not talk to someone at work about your feelings and worries? Well, for one thing it’s a waste of time—all you will be doing is taking time away from productive work. Second, by venting to someone at work, what you are really doing is hoping that person can somehow make you feel better—by taking on some of the burden of your anxiety. That’s really not fair and you won’t feel any better anyway. And another reason: it’s just good corporate politics not to be a downer. Being “up” at work is a much smarter strategy in every regard. So by all means talk through your anxieties and concerns—with a friend, spouse, coach, therapist or other outsider.
2. Stay on Message: If you can create a brief, memorable message for yourself that defines your actions at work for a period of time (a calendar quarter is a good interval), it can help you stay focused on task. This can be the quarter of Perfect Communication, or Zero Defects, or Innovative Reporting…or whatever you decide should be a defining message that you want to be associated with in your organization. It doesn’t necessarily have to be the same as your organization’s own message of the moment (More Sales! Cut Costs!). It’s enough that you have something to drive you, and you alone. Write it down, tack it to a bulletin board, write the acronym for it on your whiteboard so only you will know what it means. Then live it every day.
3. Be Selfish: People tend to jump on me when I tell them it’s okay to be selfish. It’s better than okay—it’s really important. Selfish in a good way, though. Being concerned about your self-care and health is the only way you can be truly available to others. So take a walk around the building a few times a day (but not with a cigarette!) and give yourself some space. Find a dozen other ways to be great to you and think about how great it feels to be great to you! (If you are feeling well, and are conscious of your own ability to self-heal, you are on your way to being an expert in EI skill #1—Emotional Self-Awareness.
The rumors are circulating about what happened at Apple that produced its catastrophic 
