I got an interesting call recently from an executive recruiter who was checking a reference on a guy I used to work with. We were both senior-level managers at the same company for several years. I hadn’t seen or thought much about “Bob” since I left the company a long time ago. But as soon as the recruiter mentioned his name and asked me what I thought, I had an instant reaction. What an [insert noun describing posterior body part here]. I remembered reaching out to Bob a number of years ago with an email and getting, how do you say in English, blown off? Which wasn’t a surprise when I reflected on Bob’s demeanor at work.

I didn’t tell the recruiter that Bob was a jerk (you thought I was going to say something else, right?).  I did note that Bob had a strong intellect but  no humility; was very focused but had no people skill; could produce great work alone but with others, not so much. Which could all be a perfect combination depending on the job, which in this case was the chief operating officer of a large company.

So what’s my point?

Life is long. Will my appraisal be meaningful as Bob seeks his next job? Probably not. But it would not have cost Bob, and it will not cost you, a dime just to be nice to people in your business dealings. One day you will meet them again, or someone else will ask them about you, and perhaps their viewpoint will be the one that tips you to a huge success, or to be passed over. 

Use your emotional intelligence to get people to support you, by supporting them whenever possible, and being courteous. I have reached out a hand to assist hundreds of colleagues, friends, and acquaintances over the years, and I’m sure so have you. My effort comes back to me ten times over. Some people describe me as “a really nice guy.” I used to not like being thought of as “nice” because it sound boring. The older I get though, the happier I am that many people think I am nice. It makes me feel good to be nice, and I  know that, because I try to be nice, people reach out to help me when and ask, and even when I don’t.

   Tags: ,